The Wine-Dark Sea

I just love this second reading from today’s Office of Readings and had to share it:

From a letter to Diognetus

Christians are indistinguishable from other men either by nationality, language or customs. They do not inhabit separate cities of their own, or speak a strange dialect, or follow some outlandish way of life. Their teaching is not based upon reveries inspired by the curiosity of men. Unlike some other people, they champion no purely human doctrine. With regard to dress, food and manner of life in general, they follow the customs of whatever city they happen to be living in, whether it is Greek or foreign.

  And yet there is something extraordinary about their lives. They live in their own countries as though they were only passing through. They play their full role as citizens, but labour under all the disabilities of aliens. Any country can be their homeland, but for them their homeland, wherever it may be, is a foreign country. Like others, they marry and have children, but they do not expose them. They share their meals, but not their wives. They live in the flesh, but they are not governed by the desires of the flesh. They pass their days upon earth, but they are citizens of heaven. Obedient to the laws, they yet live on a level that transcends the law.

  Christians love all men, but all men persecute them. Condemned because they are not understood, they are put to death, but raised to life again. They live in poverty, but enrich many; they are totally destitute, but possess an abundance of everything. They suffer dishonour, but that is their glory. They are defamed, but vindicated. A blessing is their answer to abuse, deference their response to insult. For the good they do they receive the punishment of malefactors, but even then they rejoice, as though receiving the gift of life. They are attacked by the Jews as aliens, they are persecuted by the Greeks, yet no one can explain the reason for this hatred.

  To speak in general terms, we may say that the Christian is to the world what the soul is to the body. As the soul is present in every part of the body, while remaining distinct from it, so Christians are found in all the cities of the world, but cannot be identified with the world. As the visible body contains the invisible soul, so Christians are seen living in the world, but their religious life remains unseen. The body hates the soul and wars against it, not because of any injury the soul has done it, but because of the restriction the soul places on its pleasures. Similarly, the world hates the Christians, not because they have done it any wrong, but because they are opposed to its enjoyments.

  Christians love those who hate them just as the soul loves the body and all its members despite the body’s hatred. It is by the soul, enclosed within the body, that the body is held together, and similarly, it is by the Christians, detained in the world as in a prison, that the world is held together. The soul, though immortal, has a mortal dwelling place; and Christians also live for a time amidst perishable things, while awaiting the freedom from change and decay that will be theirs in heaven. As the soul benefits from the deprivation of food and drink, so Christians flourish under persecution. Such is the Christian’s lofty and divinely appointed function, from which he is not permitted to excuse himself.

I bought Moira Farrell’s Home Catechesis Manual for Ages 3-5 for the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd more than a year ago. (about halfway down on this page.) I finally gave my first lesson today. What has been holding me back? The materials and the dilemma of not having enough money to buy them or enough time to make them. It’s a catch 22 and though I love the philosophy of Montessori in general and of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd in particular, I’ve always found it hard to see how it really meshes with my family’s particular situation and needs.

Still, I’ve been feeling a strong call to give Sophie, Bella and Ben the Good Shepherd presentation and the presentations on the Mass. They already have done quite a bit of their own “work” on both the Christmas and Easter stories using the toys and materials we already owned. But I wanted them—and Sophie especially—to spend time contemplating Jesus as the Good Shepherd.

So I came up with a two-pronged approach. I decided to do a little bit of making, a bit of adapting materials we already have, and a bit of begging. I asked my parents to buy the Mass kit as a present and they graciously agreed. I had heard of people making or substituting with creative thrifting but thrifting takes that precious time that I’m already too short of. So that takes care of that presentation.

For the Good Shepherd presentation, I realized I could use the shepherd and sheep from our Fontanini nativity set. Sure it’s not pure Montessori, but it would be good enough. Then I just needed a sheepfold and a wolf. I found a little picket fence at Michaels and made a cardboard pasture to go under it. Then I set out to make my wolf out of cardboard until I could find a plastic one. I got carried away with the sheer pleasure of creating and made half a dozen cardboard sheep and a cardboard shepherd as well. But they are really too flimsy to stand up to hard play. They could barely stand at all when I was giving the presentation. Still, watching me make them engaged the children’s curiosity and given their recent propensity to play with paper dolls, I knew that the flatness and flimsyness would not at all deter their fertile imaginations.

Bella was thrilled by the presentation and very engaged in a dialogue with me, answering the questions and speculating on the presentation. Before I’d even finished giving the presentation, she immediately wanted to tell the parable of the shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to find the one lost sheep.

Sophie and Ben asked a bunch of questions, not about the presentation itself but about the set up and materials. They didn’t answer questions or engage in dialogue. Sophie seemed initially distressed by the wolf and immediately went to huddle with her blankie on the couch. However, when she got up she immediately went over to the table and picked up the wolf. Ben was playing with the sheep inthe fold and he yelled, “Go away! You can’t come in!” And Sophie began to play along with his game about the wolf attacking and the shepherd protecting the sheep.

A fight broke out as all three children wanted to use the materials. The cardboard shepherd and sheep were having a hard time standing up. So I immediately went to get the nativity figures. I also grabbed some scarves and then made a sheepfold out of blocks and a green scarf and used a blue scarf for water and a purple scarf for the dark, dangerous place. Sophie began playing with the second set and Bella offered a couple of elephants to be attackers in place of the wolf. Sophie began to name all of the sheep. One was Mary. One was Rosie. Then there were Lawn, Bow, Flower, and Mary-Bow.

Bella decorated the pasture with colorful barrettes to represent flowers. Sophie built up the walls of her block sheepfold to make them stronger. Ben went back to painting rather than fight to get access to the sheep and shepherd.

Later I came back and found that the wolf had become harmless and was no longer threatening the sheep so the shepherd could let them go in and out at will. I think the Wolf of Gubbio was responsible for that development. Then the two shepherds began to work together and to take turns guarding the flocks while the other slept. Ok this is definitely not orthodox Catechesis of the Good Shepherd and a proper catechist would probably confiscate the materials. I thought about it and did make a comment about how they had strayed from Jesus’ story. But Bella said I told them they could play and I guess she interpreted that liberally.

Still, they kept coming back to it. Later when I came back I overheard from Sophie:

“My shepherd celebrates Good Shepherd Sunday because it’s about shepherds. Jesus loves us so much. He is the Good Shepherd and we are his sheep. My shepherd is one of his sheep too.” Yeah, I guess she does get it. Right now Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus are in her sheepfold with the shepherd and the sheep and a bunch of flowers. I’m not sure what that means. “The gate was closed. Only animals were left there.”

And Bella playing about the lost sheep: “She’s lost, she’s lost, he cried. Tears came from the shepherd’s eyes. Have you seen my sheep wandering away? The shepherd never, never stopped. He walked around his fold seven times. He never stopped. All the sheep were eating the grass in the fold. He took the ripest grass and hung it. I will not put it back he said to himself until I have found the sheep. I remember to pray for my little one, he said.”

Anthony likes curry; but not with rice. He pushed away the first bowl I gave him and then whined till I gave him some sans rice. So far we’re evenly split: Sophie and Anthony like curry while Ben and Bella eat only plain rice.

1. We told the children that we are expecting a new baby while they were eating their pancakes Sunday after Mass. Bella sparkled with excitement: “REALLY?!?!!!” Sophie had a more subtle gleam but it was there. She kept asking me throughout the day: “It is real? Is it true? Do you really have a baby in your belly?” In an excited kind of way. Ben just asked if he could have another “pakepake” (That’s pancake for those who don’t speak Ben.)

Sophie, dressed as a priest. She told me that the scarves were her vestments. Oh and, yes, she was a male. Bella did her hair.

2. At dinner we were discussing names. Bella is still lobbying as strongly for “Baby Rose” as she was when we were expecting Anthony. Sophie suggested, “Mary… or Dogggie-Cup,” and then proceeded to bombard us with bunch of silly names in the “Doggie-Cup” vein. What can I say? She’s four. (Doggie-Cup refers to her favorite sippy cup that has cartoon dogs on it. Yes, they still all use sippy cups because they travel well and it minimizes spills at the table. Which is important when the 14 month old is constantly pulling down anything he can reach. Oh and has just learned how to climb onto the chairs and thence onto the table.)

Anthony climbs onto the table.

3. Yes, did I mention that Anthony is a climbing-crazed climber person? He’s figured out how to push the stool around and get to the kitchen counters. And how to climb onto the kitchen chairs and thence onto the table. Dom caught him just about to throw down an open container of flour on Sunday. No, I’d left the closed container on the kitchen table but Anthony pushed the stool over to the chair, mounted the chair, then climbed onto the table and grabbed down the container then opened the latch on the container. He’s driving me crazy. Especially since this last week has been cold and rainy and he hasn’t been able to play outside. He’s been perfecting his getting into stuff mode. I feel bad for the constant chorus of, “No, Anthony!” except that he really doesn’t seem to listen at all.

Bella with the St Gianna Molla book

4. Bella told me today that she is “falling in love with St Gianna Molla.” We are reading this biography of St Gianna and although Bella is still convinced that she heard God’s call to her to be a nun when she was at Mass on Holy Thursday, she is wonderfully surprised to discover a saint who is a loving wife and mother and doctor. She is very insistent about her call, by the way, every time it comes up she tells me gravely that it is “a very true thing. I really heard God’s call for me and it is to be a religious sister.” And then she seriously wonders what order she will join, “I don’t know yet what order God will call me to.” (I don’t necessarily recommend these books for children as young as Bella. I’ve had to do some editing as I read and we’ve had some discussions about the fairly intense material. Reading about martyrs is tough.)

I no longer remember why Bella was pouting. Probably I wouldn’t read her a book.

5. Bella sat on a wasp on Sunday and got a sting in a very sensitive spot. She came in screaming, tears streaming, “I never knew how painful it could be!” she exclaimed. “If I had only known how painful they were!” Dom and I were trying unsuccessfully not to laugh at her dramatic expostulations. She was so much in pain and yet so over the top and yet with such funny word choice. So gravely surprised.

The funny thing was that when we were getting into the car after Mass there was a bee on my seat and I almost sat on it and got the same sting except that Sophie warned me just in time that there was a bee in the car.

Why does Ben have a trash can on his head? I have no idea.

6. Bella has decided that she loves listening to the Office of Readings. And most especially she loves the Book of Revelation. I have no idea why and I don’t think she does either. Her explanation is something jumbled about listening to it in the car while on the way home from Home Depot after she’d shut the door on her wrist. And something about loving St John. He’s in all her crucifixion pictures, at the foot of the cross with Mary and Mary Magdalene. So there’s that. Still, I often wonder what she’s making of all the bizarre imagery.

Having a treat at the Starbucks in Target. Sophie’s black eye happened when Bella tried to throw a wooden pot at the play kitchen and it accidentally went into Sophie’s bed instead. That’s Bella sitting alone at the counter by the window in the background. I’m not sure why she chose to sit all the way over there.

1. I finally replaced the batteries in our scale this week and discovered that for the first time in almost seven years I’m back down to within five pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. My pre-Bella pregnancy weight that is. I’ve been continually nursing and/or pregnant since we’ve been married, so it isn’t too surprising that I’ve settled into a slightly plumper, more maternal self. But I guess a thirty pound nursling will burn up the calories pretty fast. And it didn’t hurt that my sister left her job at Starbucks and thereby cut me off from the free pastry supply and that I gave up sweets for Lent. I’d gotten into a very bad habit of eating chocolate every single day. Though I’ve never been one to obsess about my weight, it does feel good to be back to wearing that one pair of jeans that I bought when we were first married.

2. Also, having a scale with batteries, I have now determined that Anthony weighs 30 pounds at 14 months. He is just 3 pounds lighter than his four year-old sister, Sophie. And Ben has now passed Sophie in weight if not height. He’s a whopping 35 pounds. They are only 16 months apart and given that he’s on the big end and she’s on the smaller side, I knew this day was bound to come. Finally, my tall Bella has sprouted like a weed. She’s 48 pounds, almost half a hundred!

3. Bella has been occupied with making a Japanese paper dolls house, inspired by Rumer Godden’s two novel about Japanese dolls, Miss Happiness and Miss Flower and Little Plum. Bella loved the books, though Sophie loved the parts about the dolls, she found both of them rather emotionally intense and had to step away. I’m starting to realize that Sophie is a very sensitive soul. She is also now terrified of the Little House books, not liking at all the chapter about wolves. And now is freaked out by wolves to the point where Dom was reading me a review of a taqueria that opened in our old stomping ground and Sophie freaked because the place was called the Howling Wolf Cafe.

4. Bella has recently been prone to amazing acts of rather misplaced generosity that I"m not quite sure what to do about. For example, when I was making all the kids dolly quilts Bella decided she wanted to give hers to one of her cousins who I suspect is a bit old for dolls. Then today she announced that she wanted to give the doll house she made to her friend A from next door. A is a very nice 13 year old girl who has no idea that Bella thinks of her as a best friend. A has always been very kind to Bella and has looked out for her but I’m not sure what to do when Bella announces that she wants to invite A over for dinner or to give her these handmade tokens of affection. I know the relationship isn’t truly reciprocal but I don’t want Bella to realize that. How can I gently redirect these impulses without quashing the very generous spirit that drives them? Or should I allow Bella to lead and follow her generous impulses even if the attentions are not fully welcome to the objects of Bella’s affections?

5. I started writing this on Wednesday and this is the first time I’ve been able to update. Now the irony of take #1 is settling in. On Saturday morning I woke early and lay in bed doing some frantic mental calculations while I tried to resettle Anthony, who woke me. Do you do these mental calculations? I always do. Somehow my subconscious always puts together the pieces and then my conscious mind has to play catch-up.

Yep, I still had a pregnancy test hanging around. Yep, it confirmed what my calculations had already convinced me of anyway. Baby Bettinelli will be arriving sometime in January. Margaret and I are going to be pregnancy buddies once again.

6. I think really after that last one no more takes are necessary. Now I’ll know how many people really read all my Quick Takes Posts.