Giving Our Children to God: A Dream
by Melanie Bettinelli on June 03, 2009
I woke up this morning from the midst of a dream I couldn’t shake. i think it sprang from reading the story of Hannah and Samuel yesterday and from this post by Rachel Balducci about how hard it is to have her little baby in a full body cast.
In my dream Benedict was a toddler, maybe a bit older and larger than Sophie is now. We were having some sort of religious ceremony, putting a sort of ritual garment on him that he’d have to wear the rest of his life. It was sort of like the fringed garment that Jewish men wear under their clothes. In the way of dreams, its appearance changed a couple of times. At first it was a rough uncut piece of sheepskin but then it appeared that there were several layers sewn together and the one next to the skin was rough, like a door mat, the ones with thick ropey fibers, and directly next to his skin was the side with the little rubber spikes that prevents the mat from slipping.
We put it over his head like a poncho and it was so heavy and so rough against his tender skin, the points biting and the fibers rubbing. I cried seeing my little boy having to wear such a burden and yet knew I was doing it out of obedience to God.
And I suppose that’s what the dream really boils down to: how hard it is to give my children over to God, to keep in mind that my children aren’t mine but his and are merely given to me for a time to care for them as His steward. (I wrote a long reflection on that here after my miscarriage.) And that in turn relates to broader concerns I’ve been pondering recently: trusting in God, relinquishing control, letting go of fear and anxiety, suffering for our children but also suffering with our children.
Dom also pointed out that we’ve also been discussing the question you don’t have to deal with when you have a girl child: to circumcise or not. I’m not sure how much a part that played in the dream, but certainly that comes into it to. It’s obviously not a religious question for us but one of health concern. So often as parents you have to make the tough decisions, the things like immunizations that hurt your child and protects him at the same time and all the limits and boundaries you set that can seem harsh and unnecessary to a child but you know you do for their own protection.
Heavy thoughts for so early in the morning. Just had to get them down because the dream won’t let me go.
Comments
Melanie, I not much at interpreting dreams so I won’t comment on that. I just wanted to relate a personal circumcision story. I know this is a loaded topic and every family has to decide for themselves. I really struggled with it when it came to our first son, although it was a no brainer “of course we have to do it” for my husband.
Anyway, we adopted our second son as a toddler. It was the first time in my life I’d ever seen an uncircumsized male and I have to say I found it a little bit “yucky”. Well, he ended up needing major dental surgery under general anesthesia and our pediatric dentist, familiar with internationally adopted children, asked us if we were planning to schedule a circumcision while he was under. When I told her we were, she whispered to me, “His wife will thank you some day.”
I laugh every time I think about that.
Posted by Eileen on 06/3/09 at 11:56 AM
This was a topic when I was pregnant with D3. I left it up to his father and said I would support whatever he chose. He still hadn’t decided and the kid was BORN.
He talked with the nurse who said it’s really up to the parents, six of one half dozen the other, but it does eliminate the risk of cancer of the penis. While that is an exceedingly rare cancer, you wouldn’t want to be that one for the sake of circumcision.
If you do, DO NOT USE REGULAR WIPES ON IT UNTIL IT’S HEALED. You will both end up in tears.
Posted by Heather Price on 06/3/09 at 07:03 PM
I know that feelings run strongly on the circumcision issue, though it hasn’t seemed to affect the quality of my marriage or of my son’s life so far…
When I wrote about the circumcision in passing, I got a comment from someone affiliated with “Catholics against Circumcision”. I know that there must be a group for everything, but that struck me as a bit odd. As Christ himself was circumcised, isn’t it a bit odd to have a Catholic group against it? I mean, it could be called “Informed Parents against Circumcision” or “Americans against…” or whatnot, but seeing as the Blessed Mother put her own son through the ordeal, it can’t possibly be sinful.
On a personal note— I was prepared for the circumcision to be a wrenching moment for me, but it wasn’t really. Jack was angry about the whole thing, but he didn’t scream in pain (and we all know what that sounds like). In fact, it healed very quickly and mostly seemed to bother the changing parent rather than the changed infant. And now he’s nine months and it’s just a fact.
Posted by MrsDarwin on 06/4/09 at 04:22 PM
My pediatrician likened the circ decision to baby girls getting their ears pierced. She said it is a family decision, not a medical one. Probably will be fine which ever way you decide. Personally we have one boy circumcised, and two not. So far, there have been no issues with any of it ( a few questions, but no big deal).
Posted by Renee on 06/5/09 at 12:23 AM