High Drama at the Store
by Melanie Bettinelli on May 31, 2011
Bella and Sophie are playing a game in which the dad (played by elephant) won’t let the baby doll, whose name is Afadilla, go into the store.
Bella:“Let Afadilla go in the store!”
Sophie: “No!”
Bella: “Let Afadilla go to the store! Afadilla’s a person! She loves it. Any other day when the store is open Afadilla’s mother helps her in it!”
Bella is so into the game that she’s screaming and weeping, tears streaming down her face as she pleads for Afadilla to be allowed into the store. But when I tried to intervene to make Sophie play nice, Bella told me “It’s just a game, Mama,” and “It’s a part of the game that makes me sad.”
Ok then. I guess I’ll let it continue since it’s just a game. I just told Bella it makes me sad to see her cry.
Comments
Wow. We haven’t had real tears, but Cecilia and Felicity get very into their playing. I will sometimes have to ask if they are “playing nice” just to be sure it is still just a game.
Posted by Katherine on 05/31/11 at 10:37 PM
Yeah the tears were a first. I’m wondering what it is that she’s working out through her play. I don’t know what the strong emotion comes from but it seems to reveal her understanding of what it means to be rejected. Ouch.
Posted by Melanie Bettinelli on 05/31/11 at 10:56 PM
What a funny story to tell her when she’s older. She’s gonna make a great little actress, one day!
Posted by Alicia on 05/31/11 at 11:15 PM
Does Bella seem to be dramatic when she is not playing? I only ask because Cecilia is my bigger actress both during play and when not playing, so I’ve wondered if the drama when they are playing is more a reflection of her personality and tendency to dramatize.
Posted by Katherine on 06/1/11 at 12:33 PM
Katherine, yes she’s pretty volatile and tends to over-react to everything. Hyper-sensitive and dramatic.
Posted by Melanie Bettinelli on 06/1/11 at 01:11 PM
Melanie, that would exactly describe Cecilia too! Cecilia can get so worked up so easily (and sometimes it drives me a little nuts). I know having so many little ones has definitely helped me learn not to sweat the small stuff but I sometimes wonder if she didn’t learn such reactions from my earlier panic-button-pushing days. I remember yelling way too much after Felicity was born. (one of my many “if I could do it again” things) It is comforting though to think at least part of that is just a personality trait and not all my bad influence.
Posted by Katherine on 06/1/11 at 01:37 PM
Well now I can’t say for sure that she didn’t learn over-reaction from me. At least in part. Panic-button would fairly accurately describe me. When Bella would spill her milk and I was exhausted or hormonal or pregnant or just overwhelmed. Is that just a hazard of first-time motherhood? How much of personality is genetic and how much is environment? Even as a newborn in the hospital Bella was intense. Everyone remarked on how alert she was and she hardly slept at night with all the fussing. Did I over-react because she was so intense or did she learn intensity from my reaction or was it a bit of both or some other cause altogether? I suspect that even without negative influence from me she might always have been high strung. But at the same time I wonder if I’d been more gentle and patient if it might have helped to soothe her instead of exacerbating an already extant tendency.
Posted by Melanie Bettinelli on 06/1/11 at 01:52 PM
I’ve wondered the same things about Cecilia and myself. It does seem to be one of the difficulties of early motherhood. I remember Cecilia was a “high-maintenance” baby and, at least for the first 6 weeks, Teresa has reminded me a lot of Cecilia’s first 6 weeks. I’m definitely not the same mom I was 5 years ago though, so I’ll be very curious to see how Teresa develops.
Sometimes Cecilia reminds me of Jo of “Little Women” and it always reminds me, in the book, her mother said she used to get upset easily and she had to learn to control it for her children.
Posted by Katherine on 06/1/11 at 02:10 PM