Sleep Management Updates

Once Sophie had been on antibiotics for a few days her sleep improved dramatically. The past three nights she's slept through the night with nary a wake-up. It has been wonderful. Blissful.

This leads me to suspect that she's had the ear infection since we came back from Texas, poor thing. And we just didn't catch it until it got so bad she was running a raging fever. She's been cranky and sleeping poorly all this time and we just didn't know why. Yikes!

Of course even after Sophie's sleep calmed down, Bella was still having issues. Even though she isn't ready to give up her afternoon nap, I've decreed that it must be so. (This means I hve to be on the alert though for if I just put her in the other room and let her read books, she will as like as not lay down and go to sleep even if at the beginning of nap time she'd declared that she wasn't tired. So much for my idea of quiet time!)

Not only was she popping up many times after we'd tucked her in; but she was starting this new routine where she'd be up every half hour or so from three am on. I'm thinking it wasn't unrelated to Sophie's disturbing her sleep. But it had to stop. Dom and I were both getting to our breaking point. All our exhortations were for naught, however.

And then Saturday night I refused to get Dom up when she insisted that only he could help her. Instead I carried her to the office and let her fuss there until she calmed a bit. Then I explained that Daddy was tired and needed sleep, that everyone was getting sick from lack of sleep and that she needed to learn how to let us sleep. (This particular wake-up was the third or fourth of the night and I think was about her barrettes needing to be adjusted and it was following several other wake-ups for pretty spurious causes like maybe she couldn't find her sippy cup in her bed or "I'm having trouble sleeping." The next morning Dom and I both reiterated our pleas; but I think it was the fact that before dinner she wanted Dom to take them for a walk and he said he was too tired. I took them instead for a very brief jaunt.

So perhaps seeing that her night wake ups were costing her quality time with Daddy in the day time, last night at bedtime she announced to Dom that she was going to not wake him up at all. And you know what, she didn't. Both girls slept through the night. (I know it's Lent; but I still have to exclaim a little Halleluia!)

The only child who woke last night was Ben. And well, he was running a fever in the middle of the night and by the time I'd changed his diaper, taken his temperature and dosed him with Tylenol, we were both wide awake. I took him to the living room where he played for fifteen minutes or so and then nursed until he fell asleep. He didn't sleep well the rest of the night either. (He was fine all day today so I have no idea what that ever was about. Just one of those things babies sometimes do I guess.)

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with Ben. He's now waking up every two hours all night long. So even if Sophie and Bella aren't getting me up, I'm still not feeling rested at all. Maybe now that they are setting down he will too. I can only hope.

I've never been good at managing my babies' sleep. It only seems to even out after the first year. Many sleep experts will blame the fact that I nurse them to sleep. But it really is the easiest and pleasantest way to manage babies. And I don't have much patience or luck with reading the signs and lying them down tired but awake to calmly drift off to dream land. I don't seem to be able to read those signs reliably until the children are much older. And by then the patterns seem to be set and I don't really know how to reset them.

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Ben, My Sunshine

It isn't easy to steady a baby on your lap with one hand while holding a camera pointed at him with the other. Especially when he's a roly-poly lunging baby. Bu oh it is so worth it to capture a laugh like this one.

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Sophie Behind the Camera

Continuing Sophie-themed posts for her birthday week.



Bella has a very deep-seated respect for boundaries. She, of course tests them-- all kids do to some extent-- but has remarkably little destructive instincts. For example, she has never, ever dropped anything into the toilet. In fact she only once ever went into the bathroom when she wasn't supposed to and pulled the toilet paper off the roll.




Sophie, on the other hand, is a lot more mischievous. She not only tests boundaries, she's sneaky. She knows she's not supposed to touch my computer so she waits until I'm in the kitchen cooking and then quietly sneaks over and starts pushing buttons. Once she turned on iTunes and got a bit of a surprise.



She has also figured out how to unlock my iPod Touch. She loves my cell phone and has programmed a few new contacts into it. And recently she has discovered how to use the camera.



She has now taken quite a few shots of fingers and blank walls. And some surprisingly recognizable shots.



Maybe some day soon we can find a cheap little digital camera that she can play with to her heart's content.



Maybe some day she will be a great photographer.

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About a Boy

Dear Jenn,

It still fits!



Five minutes after this photo was taken, Ben, who hadn't messed his diaper in several days, had a massive poop explosion. He'd been sitting calmly, playing with his blocks. Then he toppled over and started to cry. No wonder, he was laying on a couple of the blocks. But when Theresa went to pick him up, she discovered another reason for the yelling. All over the living room carpet. And his pants and shirt. Fortunately there was just one tiny spot on the hem of the sweater vest.

My sister is my hero for patiently sponging the carpet while I cleaned up the boy.

Look at that sweet innocent face... he doesn't look like a poop demon.

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Sophie and Ben Play with Blocks

I remember watching Bella wander about our apartment before Sophie was born and thinking: She needs a playmate. She needs a sibling.

When Bella celebrated her second birthday Sophie was just an infant, two months old and nowhere near being a good playmate.

Now there's Sophie. Sometimes I pity her being hte middle child. Stuck in the middle. Booted out by Ben, no longer the baby. However... Not only does she have a big sister she adores (I love you, Bella B.) she also has a little brother who's is pretty fun to hang out with.

A week or two ago I caught the two of them playing together with the blocks. Well, ok, together might be a bit of a stretch... but then again check it out.















Not only did they enjoy spending time together leaning over the same block box, Sophie building little towers and Ben chewing on the blocks; but immediately afterward before I'd finished putting the camera away, I caught Sophie sharing her sippy cup with Ben.

Back and forth they passed it, taking sips in turn. Every time Sophie brought the cup to her own mouth Ben would reach out to grab it. But she never got upset with him, just took her drink and then held it out for him to take.


It was so sweet and reminded me of my own childhood when we always shared one drink among the four of us.

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Sophie's Birthday in Pictures

Of course, two years old doesn't anticipate and thus Bella was much more excited about the birthday than Sophie was. Still, we did our best to make it a special day.

On Wednesday I bought Sophie a balloon at the grocery store. A shiny mylar balloon covered with butterflies. We almost lost it when we got home. A crossbreeze swept it out of the minivan and into the waiting arms of our helpful peach tree. Had it not been for the tree, the balloon would have been gone. All afternoon and evening Bella was jealous and kept taking the balloon. Probably should have got two of them.

Thursday morning we made a cake. Bella helped collect the ingredients, read the instructions, measured, and greased and floured the pan with me.



Both girls helped to clean the beaters.



Sophie may not anticipate; but she shure knows how to live in the moment.



Midmorning a knock at the door. I had Sophie on my hip, which was perfect as it was a man delivering an edible fruit arrangement from Grandma B. It came with a teddy bear and a second mylar balloon. (Grandma, how did you know?)



Bella helped Sophie eat the fruit.



Yum, pineapple!



And strawberries on a stick!



Bella helped herself to grapes on a skewer.

I roasted a chicken for dinner as Sophie adores meat. I was so glad that she's got her appetite back.



And then we had cake and ice cream. Sophie had to have help blowing out the candle. Thanks, Bella.

And she got frustrated eating her ice cream.


Bella also helped Sophie open the presents.




And so did mama.



Then every toy had to be played with. Every book had to be read.

It was a late evening.



When I finally got her into bed, Sophie was still clutching one last board book. She kept up her monologue after I turned off the light. I sat in the dark nursing Ben and trying to sing the girls to sleep; but Sophie would not stop chattering. Poor Bella lay in her bed whimpering. I finally hd to leave the room. No protest from my usually clinging Sophie, just a 'Bye, Mama.' I think she kept it up about ten minutes before she really noticed I was gone and started crying for me.

She slept all through the night for the first time in a long while. A nice birthday gift to poor tired Mama. (I was still up every two hours with Ben; but that's a story for another blog post.)

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Happy Birthday, Sweet Sophie!

My silly, sunny, cuddly girl. You are much more affectionate than your big sister. Sometimes, I'll confess your need for your mama can make me a little crazy but only because I don't feel like I can give you as much of my attention as I know you deserve. You aren't my baby any more and yet you will always be my little lovey girl.


Sophie with ashes on Ash Wednesday

I can't believe you are picking out your own clothes (and color-coordinating them perfectly!). I'm already seeing a bit of the two in your insistent "I do it." I love your independence and helpful attitude. Just this morning I saw you bend down to pick up your baby brother when he fell over. It totally made up for your smacking him away from your blocks.





Sophie climbed into this box and got stuck. She wasn't upset, though. On the contrary, she was giggling as I took the picture.


I love listening to you singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and all your favorite songs. I love listening to you read your books and recite your nursery rhymes and say your prayers. But I think one of my favorite things ever is when you turn to your sister and say, "I love you, Bella B." That melts my heart.



Sophie in her new rain boots. What a little lady!

Two years seems impossible. And yet not nearly long enough. I love you, my Sophia.

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Welcoming March

Today it was a balmy 42 degrees and almost all of the snow had melted. After a rough night we all really, really needed to get out of the house. I was so glad to be able to bundle Ben and Sophie into the stroller and take them all out for a nice walk. And they were all very happy to be outdoors. I am starting to see a glimpse of what life will be like come spring. And it can't come fast enough.




Bella circles the stroller, forages for sticks and pine cones (she packed the bottom of the stroller with them, telling me that Gina, her imaginary friend/daughter needed them to make ice), blazes the trail and lingers far behind, decides the route and whines when she is vetoed.




Teeny, tiny pine cones the size of my finger tips fascinate me as much as they do Bella. These are the ones I collected in the stroller's snack tray.




Still too early for any flowers, except the lingering skeletons from long ago autumn.




About the only green I see is the moss which overgrows the sidewalk at places.




One little, lonely patch of dirty snow, with our stroller tracks in it.




Ben fell asleep in the stroller and had a nice long nap. Ah, bliss! I can't wait till we can do that more often. It was the best nap he's had in a long time.




He was still sleeping soundly when we got home and I didn't want to wake him so we went out to the back yard and I pushed Sophie in the swing. We had a very late lunch and a very late nap; but I think it was worth it to see a smile on her face; she's been so miserable with that ear infection. Oh she does love her swing!




While Sophie sat in her swing, Bella climbed the ladder.




Notice that she ditched her coat. My little hardy New England girl. (It felt warm to me, too. I was only wearing a sweatshirt.)




Bella is so full of joy.




Ben sat in the swing for the first time. He wasn't so sure about it at first but I did get him to smile. He didn't last long, though. He had a wet diaper, an empty belly, and cold hands.

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Sick and Tired

I have lots and lots of pictures to post; but I have lost my camera. Life has been crazy with sick kids. The cold or whatever that we all caught in Texas lingered and lingered for Sophie and Ben in the form of runny noses and coughs. And Sophie just didn't seem to get back to feeling 100%.

Theresa and I caught some sort of cold last week and I was fighting the phlegm. Not super sick but under the weather.

Then this weekend things came to a head and Sophie started to run a fever. Saturday she cried and whined all day. Sunday she was listless and slept a lot. Among all the whining she did say once that her ear hurt. I took her to the doctor today and sure enough when the doctor put the tip of the scope into her right ear she screamed. So yes it's an ear infection and we've got amoxycillan.

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Bella's Compline

At three and a half Bella is still not quite willing to give up her afternoon nap. And since Sophie and Ben both need an afternoon nap (and often me too) it is convenient for me when she decides to sleep. Yet too often the consequence of this convenience is that she isn't really ready to go to sleep when we tuck the girls in at 8 o'clock.

So she pops out of her bed three or four or more times before she finally settles down for the night:

I need to use the potty....

I need a tissue for my nose....

I need more water in my sippy cup....

I need socks on my feet....

I can't find my piggy....

I'm having trouble sleeping....

And so Dom or I resettle her, take care of the stated need. We try to be patient and gently soothe her toward sleep. (Sometimes, of course, we fail and snap: What now?)

It's easiest when she has a complaint like needing socks. But what to do with I'm having trouble sleeping?

Usually when I went to tuck her in for that fifth or sixth time and as I spread her quilts over her I whispered a prayer as I often do in the quiet dark. St Michael the Archangel defend us in battle.... Angel of God, my guardian dear.... Hail Mary.... Our Father.... A litany of our family's patron saints. It seemed to work. She was comforted by the prayers. So that became our routine when she was having trouble sleeping. But it felt rather formless, I was always ad libbing and there was no certain end. I would just sort of grind to a halt. And sometimes it didn't seem to work so well, she'd still be tossing and turning, rustling in the darkness of her bed.

Then one night she came out while I was nursing Ben and reading the Liturgy of the Hours. It suddenly occurred to me that Mother Church has provided us with the perfect prayers for late-night I'm having trouble sleeping. Compline is always the last thing I do before falling asleep. It always settles me and often I'm out before I finish praying. My iPod slips out of my hand in the dark and I find it later when I wake to Ben stirring. I decided to read them aloud to her. She has been used to praying the Liturgy of the Hours with me at other times and so is accustomed to repeating prayers after me. And so together we prayed. And then she scampered off to her bed and didn't come out again.

Thereafter when I knelt by her bed in the dark I'd pray those prayers of the Night Office that are the same day after day, the responsory, the canticle (Benedictus) and the final Marian prayer, I omit the psalm and reading and final prayer that change daily. Bella has now memorized almost all of these prayers. And it seems that just saying this little Office is enough to settle her for the night. She never comes out again once I've prayed Compline with her.

Here's what we pray:

In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.


O God, come to my assistance.
--O Lord, make haste to help me.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever.
Amen.


Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.
– Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.
You have redeemed us, Lord, God of faithfulness.
– Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
– Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.

Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake; watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace.

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace;
your word has been fulfilled:
my own eyes have seen the salvation
which you have prepared in the sight of every people:
a light to reveal you to the nations
and the glory of your people Israel.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever.
Amen.

Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake; watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace.

May the all powerful Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.

Amen.

Loving mother of the Redeemer,
gate of heaven, star of the sea,
assist your people who have fallen yet strive to rise again.
To the wonderment of nature you bore your Creator,
yet remained a virgin after as before.
You who received Gabriel's joyful greeting,
have pity on us poor sinners.

Amen.

In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

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Lenten Break

Ben and me with ashes

I didn't mean to go away for a week unannounced. I did in fact write an announcement that I'd be breaking for the first week of Lent. But somehow it didn't get posted. Oops.

And then of course since I'd turned off the computer I didn't notice. Mea culpa!

I'm still trying to decide what level of internet activity I'll pursue for the rest of Lent. The break was good for me; but I did miss writing. I kept thinking of things I wanted to say.

Things that happened in the past week:

Ben began cutting his first two teeth. He's now got little sharp points in his lower gums.

Lots of nights of sub-par sleep. And one night with really good sleep that almost made up for them all. Almost.

Sophie has developed a habit of needing a lot of extra comforting in the middle of the night. It used to be I could just go in, hug her and whisper a few comforting words and she'd resettle. I'm trying to figure out how to get back to that place. It isn't easy. I'm afraid I lost my cool with her quite a few times in the past week as, tired and frustrated, I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I'm now working on a much slower progression of weaning her off the need for me to stay in her room singing to her until she falls back to sleep.

Hopefully once her sniffles go away this will get better. I'm wondering if perhaps she might be starting to cut her two-year molars. Only time will tell. But wouldn't that be my luck to have two teething children at once.

I mentioned before Sophie's explosive progress in language. Yesterday she surprised me by reciting almost all of the Hail Mary. She's also got a bunch of nursery rhymes down. I love it.

We've tried to start Ben on solids. He's not really taking to them. Though I did have my first small success this morning with egg yolk. He actually made an mmm sound and ate three or four bites before he gave up. He definitely wants to hold the spoon himself. He's that kind of baby.

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Welcoming Lent

Here's my list of must-read Lenten blog posts:


First, see Karen Edmisten's wonderful omnibus post on A Meaningful Lent.


Then check out Conversion Diary for a Lenten reading discussion.


Kate Wicker has a wonderful list of ideas for observing Lent with children. I'm definitely going to try some of these!


And finally, evlogia on Lenten cleaning:

Simplicity is not a goal in itself. It's simply helpful. I aim to keep in our possession that which will serve our family, avoiding an amount that dictates servitude towards those things. Being overwhelmed by things soon feels like slavery. We own things, but they do not own us. And simply put, the goal of beauty in our home is to inspire prayer. Why else would it matter?

Before I share my list, I would like to preface it with another thought that I find helpful. I approach my lenten cleaning list with sobriety and absolutely no expectations. So before you become either impressed or discouraged with the details of my lofty list, be aware that I don't expect to be able to complete all that I have planned. That expectation would be foolishly willful. Instead, I keep with me two simple thoughts:

Don't expect.

Don't anticipate.

We can be willful when we anticipate and live our lives with our own expectations of how things should play out. Not that it is wrong to make plans. Obviously, I have a tendency to do so. The truth is that we need to be moving in some purposeful direction and that usually requires the making of resolutions and planning ahead. But to stubbornly cling to our expectations of completing those plans is a matter of willfulness that I strive to avoid. With God as my helper. The rest is up to Him.

And I will only fail if I loose sight of this.

So as I set out to re-work last year's lenten cleaning list, I reminded myself that this is not a "to-do list." I don't know what I will have the strength to do. Rather, this is the direction in which I hope to move for the benefit of my family. With God as my helper, I just might be able to get through some of the projects. But my prayer is that this will only be the case if getting through the list is beneficial for my salvation and that of my family. If not, then I am convinced that my weakness or the trial that hinders me is aimed at the acquisition of humility.

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Travel Notes or What Happened on My February Vacation.

I'm not sure anyone else is interested in any of these details of our trip, but I like to keep it all straight in my own head. I'll throw in more pictures though, so at least there will be that.



Dad and my brothers


Sunday we went to Mass, of course, at my parents' parish. Which is where I made my first communion and where I was confirmed and so it still feels like my parish too. The church has been given a face lift in recent years. It's all prettied up these days so as I hardly recognize the place anymore. It was nice to see familiar friendly faces and chat with people I haven't seen in a long time. Oh and show off my cute kids. I love showing off my cute kids. Who all behaved beautifully and no one had to be taken out.

Then we went out for mmmm breakfast at our favorite Salvadorian restaurant. Then we got BBQ for Sunday dinner. You know some people watched the Superbowl. Not me. But I was happy for the BBQ. Have I mentioned that next to seeing my family, the best thing about being in Austin is the food?



The last time my brothers, my sister and I took a photo together was at my wedding.


On Monday Dom and the kids and I met Mrs Darwin and Jennifer of Conversion Diary and Dorian Speed (By the way, doesn't that just sound like a cool blog pseudonym? Well, it isn't. It's her real name. But she lives up to it.) We met at McD's-- ok, not super food; but you can't win them all. The kids played and we ladies chatted while poor Dom bravely stayed in the car with slumbering Sophie (Have I mentioned my husband is a hero?) so that I could socialize with some of my favorite blogging gals. It was great to see Mrs D. and Jen again. They are always great company. And wonderful to meet Dorian. The kids ran around and played. Master Darwin spilled tea down the front of his overalls, Jennifer, still haunted by the poop fates, had to borrow a onesie from Mrs D. We repaired to nearby chez Darwin for cookies and more conversation.


Bella swings at Zilker Park


Tuesday and Wednesday we took it easy, spending the days with the family. My dad took the girls for long walks to the park. My brother Tim came and played with them. (He's out of work now, which is tough for him but has made for a nice visit.)


Sadly, the Zilker Zephyr was not running


I gave up on doing more than the most rudimentary sleep management. The kids have all been waking up at 5. (Darn you, Central Time Zone!) Poor Dom says he's getting less sleep on vacation than he usually gets when he's working. Sophie has been waking up several times a night and has to be settled by me and only me every time.




I remember the firetruck from when I was a little girl. Is it really the same one?


Then Wednesday night the storm hit. Bella fell asleep at dinner. Sophie, overtired thing, ran about like a ping pong ball. And even after I'd put them to bed, she kept waking every half hour to forty-five minutes. And then when I went in to resettle her for the forth or fifth and happened to put my hand on Bella's ankle and it was burning up. Not wanting to wake Bella, I tucked Sophie back in but resolved to find the Tylenol and dose them both at the next wake up. By that point I was positive there would be a next wake up, that Sophie's fussing was due to illness and not jsut travel woes. Sure enough there was a next wake up and it was dramatic. Both girls burst into our bedroom and Sophie vomited on the floor. I hastened to clean it up while Dom held a screaming Ben and I tried to also take Bella's temperature. Somehow we made it though the night; but the longest stretch of sleep I had was between 2:30 and 4:15.



Bella didn't mind, though. She still climbed up on the train.


Thursday night was not much better. It was terribly hard for the first few hours when every time I fell asleep I was awakened by something or other. Much better when I gave up on the idea of sleeping. Then I just held Ben in the recliner and we both did fall asleep for a couple of hours. Only to have to get up when Sophie started screaming for me. It isn't easy when both Ben and Sophie can only be soothed by me.



Ben didn't mind the cold. He's a real New Englander


Not only because of the poor sleep but also because it was cold and cloudy, Wednesday and Thursday were both spent not doing much but hanging out around the house and trying not to get sick. By Friday everyone seemed better except for runny noses on all the kids. It was supposed to be warmer so we ventured to Zilker Park with my parents.


mmm cocoa


We needed hot cocoa to get through the morning and then we left after only an hour or so and went for burgers. I love Zilker park. The old fire engine is still there that I remember climbing on as a girl. And the train of course. Barton Springs is the same as always. How fun to see my girls enjoying it now. Though it would be nice to go on a warmer day when the train was running.



I love this statue


Saturday afternoon was our annual blogger meet-up, hosted by Mr and Mrs Darwin Catholic. This is always the social event of the season. Our gracious hosts organized quite the gathering. They not only opened their lovely home (Ignore Mrs D's protests. It is a lovely home, not a showplace but one that is loved and lived-in by four adorable little Darwin children), but also served us fajitas and homebrew. And a wonderful time was had by all. Also there were Jennifer of Conversion Diary, who had a hard time not spilling the beans about her new video project; John Henry who blogs at American Catholic; The Opinionated Homeschooler, who alas isn't blogging currently, though she hinted that she might be having a comeback soon; and I was delighted to finally meet Devin and Katie Rose, with their beautiful children (I especially drooled over baby Edmund, who is even cuter in person than he is in Katie's video). Am I forgetting someone? I feel like I am. Everyone there had at least three children, so the party was full of deep conversation punctuated by frantic screams, spilled cups, runny noses, nursing babies, tipping chairs, and diaper changes. In other words, my kind of party.



Bella swings

Theresa, Dom, and I all noticed that Sophie's speech became much more distinct during the week we were in Texas. We noticed the same thing last year with Bella. I think having to talk to others outside the immediate family for an extended period really helped push her to enunciate.

Also, she started reciting a whole bunch of nursery rhymes: Ring Around the Rosie... Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater... Rain, Rain Go Away... One, Two, Buckle My Shoe...

And I think she might be a bit taller too.



The family braves the cold.


Our flight back on Monday was much harder than the flight down. We had one less set of hands as Theresa flew back on Friday. It was also an afternoon flight and got in at 9. Ouch! Threecranky children and two cranky parents. Plus I was starting to feel sick.



Laughing Ben.


But it's good to be home. On the way home from the airport my brother-in-law shared a bit of wisdom someone had passed on to him when he was a new parent: When you are a parent of small children you don't go on vacation for yourself but for the kids. It's about creating memories.



My mom. The best mom in all the world.


Dom and I both got much less sleep than we would have here at home. But we created some wonderful memories not only for our kids but for our whole family.



Sophie and my dad. She actually let him read to her, push her on the swing, get her out of the car seat.


Still, I'm tired and we have to get up early tomorrow for Mass.



Sophie is addicted to the swing


Time to go to sleep.

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Welcome

Thanks be to God. My newest niece, Zelie Marguerite, is here!

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Our trip so far

Ben's been monkeying around.




The ids all discovered Bristle Blocks.












Sophie had fun coloring with Grandma.




Bella enjoyed painting with her artistic Uncle Tim.








Grandad reads stories.




And wears the girls out with walks to the park.




Uncle Tim is a favorite with everyone.

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"You Be Daddy...

... and I'll be mommy."

I'd not yet seen Bella doing role playing before. I was amused when I heard her suggest it to Sophia.

Sophie was having none of it though. She wanted to be mommy too. At an impasse, Bella sat herself in the stroller and decided to be a little girl.

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Prayers please

Praying for my sister-in-law Evelyn, who is going to be induced this morning. May she have a safe and easy labor and delivery. I can't wait to meet my new niece!!!

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Imaginary Friends

"Gina is my little girl."

Gina is the first and foremost among Bella's coterie of imaginary friends. She's Bella's daughter and appeared at about the time when Ben was born. Bella told stories of being in the hospital for Gina's delivery. Sometimes Gina is a dol. Other times she seems to be in invisible person only Bella can see. Bella does not insist that we talk to or interact with Gina.

Gina sometimes has a brother or a sister but they remain nameless.

Then there are names that we don't really get much information about. They just appear in her chatter about her day.

Ayrie is one that has come up again and again. At first I thought she was saying 'Ellie'-- she's not very good with R. But she corrected my corrected pronunciation and was only happy when I echoed her pronunciation: Ayrie. It's always 'My friend Ayrie," so definitely not in the 'Gina' category.

Kellin is a name that came up for the first time last week. Also a friend. I have no idea where she gets these names but I'm fascinated. She was very clear that it wasn't Karen (my first attempt to understand what she was saying) or Kevin. No, it was Kellin.

Ann is an interesting one. Bella has a strong attachment to Dom's sweet co-worker, Anna. But her imaginary friend is just plain Ann. (I don't know if it's Anne with an E or not; but I rather think not.)

I'm rather sad that we no longer play with Pooh and Piglet and the others. I miss the old gang. But they are gone back to their storybook land. Now 'Pooh' is just Sophie's generic name for any teddy bear.

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Day in Photos

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Picture Books: Library Picks

Hey, what a coincidence! I was just finishing up a post about our favorite books from the library this week, when I realized that Sarah at This Heavenly Life is hosting a What We Found at the Library meme. Perfect timing, Sarah. (By the way, doesn't she have the sweetest girls? I love reading her stories, so funny. And so much like my Bella and Sophie.)

I'm not going to follow Sarah's lead and tell you that one of these is my favorite, one is Bella's favorite , one is Sophie's favorite. We don't tend to roll that way here. Instead, these are the books that we all have enjoyed together.




Crow Call by Lois Lowry. A sweet story about a girl and her father separated by WWII. They are almost strangers, trying to reknit the severed relationship. It has poignant moments: Daddy doesn't know her favorite food is cherry pie; but he is willing to buy her two slices. They share a laugh at the waitress who thinks the narrator is a little boy. Daddy indulgently buys her a man's hunting shirt and then takes her crow hunting. She is scared by the gun, by the idea of killing. And he is very gentle with her fears, confessing he was afraid during the war but now he is the strong one who feels no fear.

In the end, daddy chooses not to shoot any crows that day. While explaining that they do need to be shot to protect the crops, he is still decide to save the hunting for another day to allow her to enjoy the wild beauty of the crows.

The story is probably a little old for Bella, though she has enjoyed reading it and has asked for it again and again. It would be perfect to accompany a unit study on World War II.

The illustrations, inspired by Wyeth, are stunning. A soft brown palette. Some of the best storytelling using facial expressions I've ever seen in a children's book. The father's and daughter's faces add so much nuance to their relationship, already so very deep in the text. I love the way for example it catches the girl's fear hen she thinks about hunting, the father's humor when he makes a giraffe face.

I heard about this one at my new favorite site Little Lamb Books.



The Napping House by Audrey Wood, illus. by Don Wood

This is a very cute book. It's in the style of The House That Jack Built where each verse builds on the one before as one by one the various characters climb into bed. (There has to be a name for that but for the life of me I can't think of what it is.) The mouse on the cat on the dog on the child on the granny. And then a wakeful flea comes and disrupts the nap. I love the simple text and the way the color palette gradually becomes a little brighter page by page starting with very muted blues as the rain falls outside the house and gradually warming until in the last page all is very vivid and colorful-- sort of the reverse of the gradual dimming of Goodnight Moon. Not exactly a winding down for sleep book. I wouldn't put it at the bottom of the stack. But not bad for the first of several books to be read at bed time. The girls are both very fond of it.


Piggies also by Audrey Wood and Don Wood.

Judging a book by it's cover, I would not think I'd like this one. The illustrations are much too bright and loud. The story gimmick doesn't really grab me. But I have to admit this is a fun book that I enjoy reading to the girls-- and it's not too long which is a plus. Imagine counting fingers, piggies, and having an actual piggy sitting on the tip of each digit. But the ending is what really gets me, when after running amok and playing with the toes, each of the piggies kisses its opposite number goodnight and then the hands folded, go to sleep. This is a good winding down book. Sophie is especially fond but Bella enjoys it too.



Finally, honorable mention goes to The Little Friar Who Flew by Patricia Lee Gauch.

I was excited to see a story about St Joseph of Copertino at our local library. Sophie loves this one and calls it the "Francis" book. I'm not even certain where she knows St Francis from; but no matter how many times I tell her the friar in this book is St Joseph of Copertino, and she repeats after me Jophas; she insists on calling it the Francis book.

It's a cute little bio story that focuses almost exclusively on the saint's levitation. I have to say that after reading it a few times I started to like it a bit less. There isn't really much about God here. In fact the only time God is mentioned is in reference to the statue "that reminded him of the mother of God." Sure, a creative reader can add to the story, explaining that Joseph's joy is from his awareness of the presence of God in creation, that he is not alone not only because of the animal friends and the flowers but also because Jesus is with him, etc. But I think one shouldn't have to add to a book about a saint to make t a good catechetical tool. It should stand on its own and in that regard this story is a bit lackluster. It's not a bad book, there is nothing wrong or untrue. But neither is it a great book.

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Sleep Management

Lately I feel that I'm spending all my waking hours dealing with sleep management, trying to coordinate both nighttime sleep and naps for the three young people in my life. Oh I know that's an exaggeration born of exhaustion and frustration. Nonetheless, I feel like I'm spending far too much time and energy on it. I know what I'm doing isn't working; but I don't know how to fix it. Still, I've decided to dive in and start tweaking here and there to see if I can't get some of the frustrations under control. Or at least reduced to more manageable levels.




The biggest problem is Sophie. Not that I really think of her as a problem. I suppose I should say she's frequently the instigator or catalyst or something that sounds more neutral and less loaded.

The thing is there are frequently times that she can't bear to be apart from me, usually when she's sleepy. And she can't be quiet when she's with me. Every time I seem to have Ben settled, she wakes him up. It wouldn't be so bad except the poor guy seems to have such a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. He's got reflux. And frequently gas.

I think Ben's getting to the age that he needs to have more structured naps. A morning nap, an afternoon nap, and perhaps an early evening snooze.



The morning nap is never going to be anything but erratic. I've got to run errands, and given our other schedule constraints, that has to happen in the mornings. On those days when we are out, Ben will have to deal with what he can snatch in the car seat or the sling. It's never more than about half an hour, which according to the sleep experts isn't really enough. Supposedly a nap doesn't 'count' if it's less than an hour. But it's what we can do. And maybe the experts don't know what they're talking about anyway.



crashing on Auntie Tree's lap is, sadly, not always an option when he needs to sleep

The afternoon nap would seem like a much easier proposition. I've already arranged our schedule so that I always plan to be home in the afternoons. I started doing that when Bella was my only child. Bella and Sophie both take afternoon naps. But somehow getting all three kids to sleep has become a complicated dance that takes, literally, hours.





It all starts with lunch. If they don't have a good lunch in them, the girls will not be able to nap. But it is so hard to get them to sit down and eat. Somehow no matter how early I start the lunch process I always hit the 1pm wall with Bella screaming, I'm hungray!!! as I'm trying to herd her into her pull up and toward bed.



And then there is the fact that somehow we've gotten into the pattern that I read to Sophie, put her into her bed and sing her to sleep and then have to give Bella a separate story reading and tucking in. And Ben somehow nurses down for his nap in there sometime. Maybe. If the fates are smiling on me.

Some days it takes so long to get Ben and Bella squared away that I only have five or ten minutes of quiet time to myself before Sophie wakes up from her nap. Some days I've got a sleeping Ben in my arms and have to figure out how to put him down without waking him so that I can go rescue the screaming Sophie when she's ready to get up from her nap.



And then there's bedtime. Ben would love to go to bed at 6:30-7ish. By that time he's rubbing his eyes and getting very cranky. Unfortunately for him, that's dinner time. If Mama has cooking help in the form of Auntie Tree, Mama might be able to nurse him for a bit. But even then there is generally too much chaos for him to be able to be put down for any length of time. Sometimes he gets a snooze on Daddy's knee. But most nights he just suffers along until after Mama has scarfed down enough dinner to kill the worst of the hunger pangs.


this is an old photo from back in october. ben never in the swing anymore. he's too big. so we just retired the swing to the shed

We often eat dinner much later than I'd like. I suppose that's my fault for not being more on the ball, for having tastes that won't be satisfied with pasta and sauce from a jar. In any case usually Sophie is pulling off her clothes and demanding her pajamas before dinner is over. Most evenings buy the time we get her into bed-- between 8 and 9-- she's overtired and cranky. If she hasn't got her second wind.

Recently she developed a new demand. She's been having a hard time going down and wants me to stay in her room singing to her until she falls asleep. Which would be fine with me but Ben is usually needing to be rocked to sleep at that exact same time. It's a choice between which tired child to soothe.



What's really frustrating is that even after I get him put down, Ben wakes up two or three or four times and has to be resettled each time so that I spend most of the time between the girls going to bed and my own bedtime dealing with Ben. Not very conducive to either spending quality time with Dom or getting quiet time to read, write, watch a tv show and otherwise recharge my batteries.

But last week I had a simple idea that has started at least make a few things easier. What if I moved the glider rocker from the office into the girls' room? Sure, it makes the already cluttered room quite crowded. However, I thought it would smooth bedtime considerably if, instead of saying prayers and reading stories in our room and then transferring the girls to their room, we instead do all of that in their room. Then I can nurse and rock Ben while singing Sophie to sleep.



One afternoon last weekend we did just that. Dom moved my rocker into the girls' room and at naptime I sat down and rocked Sophie and read her a story while Ben first played in the crib and then sat beside her on my lap. We read four books and I made sure the last book was Skip to My Loo and then sang and sang until Sophie was starting to nod. I kept singing as I laid her in her bed, making up my own words so that it became a tucking her in song. And then I sat and sang and nursed Ben until Sophie was snoring quietly. At that point Isabella finished in the bathroom and came in and I read her a couple of books while I finished nursing Ben. She opted to sleep in the office instead of in her room. But that was ok with me. I didn't expect everything to change all at once.

And sure enough over the course of the next week as she got used to the new routine she was first convinced to sit quietly in her bed for several days and moved into the office. I gently suggested she stay in her bed but when she insisted she wanted to move I didn't argue.

After a couple of days of that however it finally happened. I was nursing Ben and hoping he'd fall asleep so I told Bella she'd have to wait for her final story. Instead of sitting up reading she lay down. And I nodded off in the quiet while nursing Ben and when I woke up Bella was asleep. Since then I've convinced her to stay in her room after Sophie falls asleep. I play her Tumblewood Lullaby cd very quietly and she reads books and most days has fallen asleep.




We've still had a few napless days, however in general she's going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier and much less cranky. I think the nap thing for the girls at least is well on the way to being solved.



The rocking chair solution has also worked pretty well at bed time. The first night we say prayers and read stories to the girls in their room. And then tucked a sleepy Sophie into her bed and I stayed and rocked Ben and sang until Sophie fell asleep. No more having to choose between my babies! It took a long time to get Ben down and I still haven't solved the problem of how to get him to sleep for more than 45 minutes without needing to be resettled by me. Oh well, small little baby steps. We're getting there.



Some nights when Ben is more restless and has finished nursing, Dom takes him into the office and holds him until he falls asleep. And some nights he goes right out while I'm singing the girls to sleep. A couple of nights he has gone straight to sleep and slept until after I went to bed. (After which he woke every couple of hours; but at least I got my evening to myself.)

I still want to ease him into sleeping better. My dream is that he goes down at night and wakes maybe once. (He seems to have a knack of waking up right when I go to take my shower. Very annoying.) I'd also love it if he slept more solidly after I go to bed. I think there's some further insight I need to discover to get Ben's routine smoothed out. But at least with the girls doing better, especially at nap time, I'm much less frustrated overall than I was two weeks ago when I began drafting this blog post.

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Praying with Children

While rummaging about in my archives I found this piece I wrote before Bella was born about praying the rosary with children. Interesting how my attitudes have not really shifted. I think I'd have written almost the same words today as I did then.

praying with kids

Ian at Musings from a Catholic Bookstore has a great post on praying the rosary with children. And asks a tough question: does this count as prayer?

I posted a response there, but wanted to re-post it here. I've been thinking about the topic of praying with children quite a bit recently. Danielle Bean also had a good post on managing small children at mass and, of course, about to embark on the great adventure that is parenting, Dom and I have talked more than once about the vocation of parenting and about how we want to raise our children in the faith.

We’re still waiting for kid #1 to be born… any day now! But we’ve prayed family rosaries with my husband’s brother’s family (six kids) and his sister’s family (three kids all under age six) and what you describe sounds pretty familiar. While I have a hard time concentrating and don’t find those prayer times particularly helpful for meditation, I think they are in other ways even more valuable than the time I spend praying the rosary by myself or the time spent praying the liturgy of the hours. Praying with children helps me to remember that we are all called to become like children. I remember first that prayer is not primarily about me and how I feel and my state of mind… after all St Therese had years of dry prayer when she was in a dark night of the soul. It seems to me part of a parent’s vocation is to sacrifice some of that feeling of closeness to God in meditative prayer as we live out our vocation to lead our children to Christ. So we don’t get to meditate on the rosary the way we used to, we don’t get to hear the whole homily, we have to leave mass to change a diaper or take a child to the bathroom, or calm a screaming baby… but the thing is in doing all those things we are following God’s call for us to let our children come to him.

And how many times in the gospel does Jesus seek out solitude to pray only to be beseiged by his followers? They always seemed to be able to find him just when he most wanted to have a little peace. But he was always patient with them when they interrupted his personal time with the Father. He never turned them away.

So yeah, I think having the amazing saintly patience to pray with our children, especially when they seem uncontrollable, to take them to mass every week and to teach them about God… That’s what God calls us to do as parents. And that’s what I’m counting on to get me to heaven.

Indeed what I could not foresee then is the amazing fruits which praying with my children has born in my spiritual life. So often now they lead me to prayer instead of vice-versa. They show me how to become like a little child so that I may enter the Kingdom.

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Sitting Ben

Ben is getting quite good at sitting up. He can go for ten or fifteen minutes without falling over. And boy does he love it.










He might be another child, like Sophia who never really rolls or crawls. He prefers being upright to being mobile.

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"The Whippers"

Bella came rushing into the living room, breathlessly telling this story. This isn't word for word but I've tried to catch the flavor:

The whippers came into my room and they were whipping Phia. And they ran away into the yard. Then they just came back in to my bedroom. And the whippers came back into my bedroom and they threw me away. Threw me away into into the hallway and I was very upset. And I just came into the living room. I didn't like that at all it wasn't very fun when the whippers came.

So I'm going to go say a prayer to Hail Mary because I'm very upset. I'm going to say a prayer. She gets a rosary and hands one to Sophia and kneels and says, Hail Mary full of grace, please help the whippers go away. All right. Stand up. Let's put the rosaries back in the basket. All right lets go back to our bedroom. And oh the whippers are still in there.

You stay right there. [to Sophia] In case the whippers don't want you in. I'm going to go get my baby. She's crying. I'm going in. Can I go in and get my baby? Please don't hurt my baby. The baby's crying. I need to get her. No get out. I'll take care of the whippers.


And then just like that the story is over. Next she's reading If You're Happy and You Know It to Sophia. And then she is playing high school, doing her work, playing with papers. Making sure the poor people have enough money.

I have no idea where she heard about whipping. Where the whippers came from. I know it's common at Bella's age to start to imagine bears or tigers, boogeymen or dragons. To start to know the world has things in it that can hurt her and forces that are big and scary and beyond her control. I've sort of been waiting to see it happen, wondering what form it might take. Nonetheless her story was a bit unnerving to say the least. As Dom said, it sounds almost demonic.

Still, I'm reassured that she turned to prayer, said a rosary, asked for Mary's intercession as I've taught her to do. That she does know how to confront her fears and knows there's a resource she can call on in times of need. Because the scary truth is there are whippers out there who could hurt my baby girl. There are forces beyond my control. She's not the only one who as to confront these fears. And ultimately all any of us can do is pray. And that is not a little thing at all.

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Aw Wiss...

For months Sophie has been saying this... noise. It's always said in the same way "Awwww wiss" chanted over and over and over again. She said it so often Bella picked it up and started chanting it too. I couldn't figure out what it meant and neither girl could illuminate me. It's been bugging me because I was sure it didn't come out of thin air.

Today finally I put the pieces together and figured it out. Sophie was singing long strings of syllables that I couldn't make out, each time the string ended with a little pause and then the familiar aw wiss. But the rhythm sounded familiar. Really familiar. Wanna wanna wanna... aaaw wiss.

Suddenly it clicked: I sang to myself Holy Mary Mother of God... Pray for us. Yep. That was the rhythm. That's exactly what Sophie was doing, singing a Litany of Saints just like I do so often when I'm singing her to sleep.

I was positive on my identification but for added confirmation when I went around the corner I saw that she was holding the saints alphabet book. I often 'read' that book to Sophie as a Litany when the text seems like too much, skipping the saints' bios and just saying each name and "pray for us".

Such a relief to finally understand those nonsense syllables the girls had been singing. And Sophie was thrilled that I knew what she was saying.

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